Random Thoughts on a Friday

A bad case of writer’s block means it’s time for some random thoughts! Here you go:



Reminder: Matt Damon deserves an Academy Award, an Emmy, and a Golden Globe for his portrayal of Brett Kavanaugh. We know that he can’t qualify for all of those, but he deserves them nonetheless.

Speaking of Matt Damon, we love the movie Rounders. However, is there a more ridiculous plot line than Matt Damon’s character telling John Malkovich’s character about his tell with the Oreos? Why would any poker player tell an adversary about his tell? It’d be like a baseball player telling the opposing pitcher during a game that he’s tipping his pitches. It just wouldn’t happen.

We tweeted this a little while back but it begs repeating: The GOP establishment is in a tough spot. Go against Trump and get primaried or back Trump and tacitly endorse all that he stands for (e.g. bigotry, sexism). That said, it’s the GOP establishment that put itself in this hole by ceding so much territory to the Tea Party a decade ago.

Can we all acknowledge that the best part of BlacKkKlansman was Isiah Whitlock Jr. bringing back his “sheeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiitttttt” from his Clay Davis role on The Wire?

You know who might be happy that Kavanaugh joined the bench, besides Trump-loving Republicans that is? Clarence Thomas. Kavanaugh’s presence on the Supreme Court means that he has overtaken Justice Thomas for worst sitting Justice of the Supreme Court. And that’s saying something.

Patrick Reed blaming Jim Furyk’s pairings for his Ryder Cup woes would be like . . . well, we can’t think of anything. Hey Reed! Try taking some responsibility for your own performance! Sorry, we get a little riled up over golf.

Speaking of putrid, have you seen UCLA play football this season? Do yourself a favor if you haven’t. Don’t.

Gennady “GGG” Golovkin was robbed again by the boxing judges. We scored it 8 rounds to 4 in GGG’s favor over Canelo Alvarez. The judges gave Canelo a narrow victory. Poor judging decisions just kill boxing.

Do the Republicans realize that being the party of sexual assault might not be a good long-term strategy? Is it really that worth it to control the Supreme Court? We hope you enjoy your place in history if you’ve supported Trump and/or Kavanaugh.

Speaking of the Supreme Court, again, if something happens to RBG, can we all agree that the next Supreme Court Justice should be Matt Damon playing the role of Brett Kavanaugh? Republicans can’t be mad at two Kavanaughs, right?

What makes you run faster to change the channel, a political attack ad or the 1-877-Kars-4-Kids ad? Admit it, there’s nothing worse than the 1-877-Kars-4-Kids ad.

If you were LeBron James, you’d shave your head at this point, right?

What does Jason Garrett have on Jerry Jones? Is there a more inexplicable coaching retention in sports, year in and year out? Nothing against Garrett as a person, but you can’t be average or worse every year for the most valuable team in sports and still keep your job. You just can’t.

Here’s an idea. It may be crazy, but just follow for a second. There are a slew of mass shootings involving guns all of the time. How about we enact laws that limit the guns that are out there and the amount of carnage that they can create?

Here’s the problem with the aforementioned gun control crazy idea: The Republicans control the Supreme Court, which isn’t supposed to be a political institution, but it is. Any sensible gun control legislation will be overturned. Therefore, the only way to do anything about guns is to have a Constitutional Amendment overturning the 2nd Amendment, thus making gun ownership a privilege akin to driving, instead of a right. Good luck with that. We’re screwed.

The Democrats won the House. Here’s hoping that the Democrats unite around a legislative agenda that makes sense both morally and fiscally. And here’s hoping we nominate someone for the Presidency who supports those aims. Sorry for all you Bernie and Elizabeth Warren supporters. The fiscal part DQ’s them. It’d be great to have a progressive nominee, but let’s pick a progressive who doesn’t alienate 99% of economists. Beto 2020?

It’s still hard to believe that we have a President worse than Warren Harding at the helm right now. Every day that Trump is President is a day we’ll have to explain to future generations.

Any time now Mueller. Any time. And please, can you make sure to take down Pence too? Let’s hear it for President Nancy Pelosi!!! Can you imagine how much Republicans’ heads would explode?! Please let this happen! Just for Sean Hannity’s reaction! PLEASE!!!

Finally, to our fellow liberals, please don’t go to Tucker Carlson’s house, or anybody’s house for that matter, to scare them. Tucker has a right to say what he wants and Fox News has a right to broadcast it. Debate him if you want. Ignore him if you’re smart. But don’t stalk him and don’t crap on the 1st Amendment. Thanks.

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