Arnold Rudin (October 12, 1921 – October 10, 2016)

I. “Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” –Coach John Wooden

I think that was something that summed up Grandpa’s outlook quite well. You’re hearing my 5^th version of this eulogy. I had and still don’t have any idea how to properly eulogize someone as prolific, multi-faceted, and meaningful to our lives as Grandpa Arnie. So what I would like to do is briefly tell you about Grandpa Arnie as I knew him, what he means to me, what drove him, and what I think he’d want to hear as best as I can tell it. So in thinking about that, this eulogy is going to be pragmatic, hopefully thoughtful, and separated into sections that begin with quotes from Coach Wooden.

II. “Young people need models, not critics.” –Coach John Wooden

I want to start by talking about the Grandpa Arnie I knew growing up, the infallible version we see of our elders as kids. When I was little, my relationship with Grandpa Arnie revolved around just enjoying my time with him. My first memories are on the golf course and at UCLA basketball games.

When I was about 6, I remember learning that Grandpa played 9 holes of golf every Sunday morning at the Rancho pitch and putt with “the guys.” I asked Grandpa Arnie if I could play and he said yes. “The guys” were a group of about 12-14 men Grandpa Arnie’s age so I didn’t exactly fit in. But Grandpa Arnie brought me along, and I played golf every Sunday with him and “the guys” for over 10 years until too many had passed on or were unable to play. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized how lucky I was to have those experiences.

Golf is an interesting sport as many of you know. P.G. Wodehouse once said, “to find a man’s true character, play golf with him.” I got to interact with Grandpa and his friends and I got to take note of traits that I now realize had a profound effect on my development.

I learned that honesty and integrity on the course were far more important than the score at the end of the round. I learned that it was important to be respectful of my playing partners. There was an etiquette that was integral to the game and it was something that we abided. I would ask Grandpa Arnie questions and recount the rounds on the way to breakfast. Then we’d all eat together and every other week Grandpa would eat pancakes and tell me not to mention that to Grandma Bev.

As to the UCLA games, Grandpa Arnie had season tickets and I remember thinking it patently unfair when I didn’t get to go to a game with him. So what that I had many family members who also enjoyed their time with Grandpa? So what that Grandpa had friends? That was my time with Grandpa Arnie and I did not want to be robbed of it.

I developed my love of basketball watching those games with Grandpa Arnie. I heard stories about Kareem, Walton, Lucius Allen, Mike Warren, Gail Goodrich, Jackie Robinson, and to nobody’s surprise, Coach Wooden. But more than anything, I remember those moments when I would turn to Grandpa after a big play, we’d both be smiling, and he’d give me a high five with that big paw of his. Pure bliss. I see it as no surprise that I ended up following in his and my parents’ footsteps to UCLA. I remember being in college and the joy I had to be able to go over and spend halftime with Grandpa every game as a UCLA student. You could see the delight on his face. He was very proud of his family, something I’ll get to in a couple of minutes.

III. “I worry that business leaders are more interested in material gain than they are in having the patience to build up a strong organization, and a strong organization starts with caring for their people.” –Coach John Wooden

When I was about 18, I was talking about the issue of race relations with Grandpa. He chose that moment to tell me that, as a Captain in the Army in the war, he was in command of an all-African American unit. I asked him how that was and whether his unit listened to him, especially given that he was in his early 20s. He told me that they were good men. He had no problems. Both his unit and he were there to do a job, so they did it. It never mattered to Grandpa Arnie what someone looked like or what his or her upbringing was. He treated everybody equally when they came in the door. His unit in the war respected him and he respected them as well. He took that same approach to business. Running a business wasn’t simple. There were hardships and very difficult times along the way but we see what A. Rudin became.

IV. “Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.” -Coach John Wooden

Grandpa taught me that no matter what happens you have to work hard. Nothing in life is going to come easy, so you have to put in the hours, try your best, and make your own luck. After all, Coach Wooden also said that “if you don’t have the time to do it right, when are you going to have the time to do it over?”

That doesn’t mean that Grandpa Arnie wasn’t going to help you out if you needed it, but he would make you try and come up with a solution to your problem if you presented him with one. You need money? Tell me about your budget. I told Grandpa I needed to lose weight, he asked about my eating and exercise. Not happy? What can you do to try and help yourself? Grandpa Arnie was not easy but he always had our best interests at heart.

One more place I will always think of Grandpa Arnie is in temple. Grandpa and I, and Grandma Bev too for many years, went to High Holiday services together. I came to understand that Grandpa liked temple partly for the beautiful prayers we got to hear from the rabbi, cantor, and choir but more so because I think he looked forward to the sermon. He wanted to challenge himself even into his late 80s and early 90s. He wanted to think about what he could do to make his life and the lives of those around him better. Unfortunately I think he came to the conclusion that some problems were too far gone to fix for a myriad of reasons, including his own shortcomings, but that didn’t stop him from trying.

V. “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.” –Coach John Wooden

Now we’re to the point where I get to tell you what meant the most to Grandpa Arnie. First and foremost, he told me that his life was defined by one great stroke of luck and that was getting to marry and spend his life with Grandma Bev. There’s a reason they always held hands. He loved Grandma Bev more than anything, championed her, cared for her, and yes, gave her a little bit of a hard time just like he did to the rest of us.

For Grandpa, the important part of life was what could be found in this room. His loved ones. We may not have heard it all of the time because Grandpa was quiet and stoic, but he loved us. He loved spending time with us. And he was proud to have been able to surround himself with people of high moral fiber and character. At the end of the day, Grandpa Arnie, notwithstanding all of the things I have spoken about, was a lot easier to sum up than I thought. He was a family man, a great friend, and a true gentleman, in the way you don’t see much of anymore. Coach Wooden said a lot of inspiring things, but there are two more things that he said that I want to leave you with because I think Grandpa Arnie took them most to heart late in life. One: “Love is the most important thing in the world. Hate, we should remove from the dictionary.” And two: “The most important thing in the world is family and love.” I love you Grandpa.